英文校稿範例, 天文學, Astronomy

英文校稿範例:Astronomy (天文學)

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  • 原始文稿

    英文校稿範例, 天文學, Astronomy

    英文編修後文稿

    英文校稿範例, 天文學, Astronomy

    Remarks

    Remark 1:
    For technical clarity to your readers, please consider revising the highlighted sentence to “This law…conversion of the baryonic and leptonic energies…into entropy.”

    Explanations

    [Explanation1]: Language correctness:
    Readability—Joining two sentences to avoid redundancy and enhance readability.

    [Explanation2]: Language enhancement:
    Readability—Use of a pronoun to avoid repetition.

    [Explanation3]: Technical word choice:
    In this context, “concentration” is a better technical word choice to be used.

    [Explanation4]: Adverb placement:
    In the passive voice, adverbs of manner are generally placed between the helping and main verbs.

    [Explanation5]: Academic word choice:
    In academic writing, information is presented with accuracy and conciseness. Formal language is a hallmark of academic English. One way to ensure conciseness in expression is converting phrasal verbs to formal words.

    [Explanation6]:Subject-specific revision:
    Sentence transition and clarity have been improved according to the technical context.

    [Explanation7]:Subject-specific revision:
    An alternative concise sentence has been recommended to the author.

    [Explanation8]: Sentence clarity:
    This change has been made to prevent ambiguity between the statements of facts and the experiments conducted in this study.

    [Explanation9]: Style:
    In American English, that is used to introduce a restrictive clause and which a nonrestrictive clause. Here we have changed that to which as this clause is non-restrictive.

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